4/26/12

Happy National Kids & Pets Day!

I don't have any recent stuff of the boys with our dog, since we don't have the little doggie any more (huge sad face), but here's a video of LB when he was 10 months old with Puppy.  It always makes me smile!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cShoYjjtceY&feature=g-upl

4/23/12

Exhausted

Too tired to write a real post.  Here's why:

Nausea
Whining
Headache
Screaming
Chores
Allergies

Be back another time.

4/18/12

Happy Birthday to me!

I celebrated my birthday by taking antibiotics for a UTI and being told that I have an umbilical hernia and diastasis recti.

Woo hoo!  Let's celebrate!!!

Seriously, that sucked, but my day was pretty good.  Hung out with the boys, the Hubby cooked dinner and put the kids to sleep, and even cleaned the kitchen and did some laundry.  I sat on my butt, trying not to pee every two minutes (because holy moly, this one really sucks), playing Words with Friends.

I bought myself a little cake, which Hubby and I split.  My parents and sister and brother called, and my facebook page practically crashed from all the birthday wishes.  Definitely feeling the love today!

It's funny, I'm a little apathetic about my birthday now.  I forgot it was even coming up until GA's (cuz mine's right after hers).  But it still turned out to be a nice day. 

Happy Birthday to me, effed up body and all!  :P

4/16/12

What we were doing this weekend

Buying this....
Husband named it (sub people may get it)...
And LB loved "driving" it...
Hope your weekend was as much fun as ours!

4/11/12

Yahoo questions and my totally deserved answers

These are real Yahoo questions, posted by real people.  It's hard to tell if they are a joke or not.... I'm sure most of them are serious.  However, the questions are so ridiculously dumb that I've formed some pretty asshole, sarcastic answers I'd like to share with you.

1. "Is it better to do your own hair/makeup for prom or get it done professionally?"
Um, helloooo!!  Daddy's paying for the dress and limo and flowers and pictures- you should make him pony up the money for the hair and makeup, too!  After all, this isn't Sweet Sixteen, this is prom, biatch!  Time to step up your game!

2. "Im looking for ways to do a "poor-man's" copywrite for music?  If i upload a video of the song to youtube, is that proof that I own it?  I also heard about mailing a cd to yourself and not opening it for proof of ownership.  Just let me know if these will work,especially the youtube one and if you know other ways, that would be helpful too. thanks."
If I sing your song, does that mean I now own it?  Also, if I mail myself a check for a million dollars, does that mean I can cash it for a million if I have no money?... If you want a copyright, submit an application for the rights and pay the fee.  Dipshit.

3. " I'm 16 and I'm scared . Today I had dry sex with my boyfriend. I was totally naked & he had clothes on but his jeans were half way down and he said he came . I got off but I was totally dry. Is there a chance I'm pregnant"
No, you have to, like, have sex to get pregnant, moron.  And by the way, why aren't you being taught this information from your parents or health class???????

4. " I am 16 and, as it says in the title, majorly uneducated on the war that America is currently in involving the Taliban. This is such a huge conflict that has been developing for so many years that I find the idea of researching it exhausting, and I honestly love researching.  Can someone please get me started with a simple overview of who/what the Taliban are/is, how America got involved, what compelled whoever was president at the time that the war started to get involved, how long it has been going on, how it escalated, where the war is, the public's opinion on the whole thing, and any other useful details that might be included?  Links and credible sources would also be very helpful. I know that this is a pretty big task but I figured there must be someone on her interested enough to educate me!"
OMFG.... are you serious???  Are you really the future of our country????

5. " My moon is in Leo at 0 degrees in the 10th house with a Libra ascendant and venus in Taurus in 8th house  I was born at 4:04pm June 2nd, 1995 Stamford CT  Does this make my moon more effected by Leo, or do I would I have more lingering Cancer traits??"
It's tough to say.  Email me your full name, address, and social security number.  Also, snail mail me your credit card, so I can have a tangible piece of your possessions to get an accurate reading.  But I must warn you- a moon in Leo is very bad.  It is known to turn you into a werewolf.  You should warn every person you meet of this possible situation.  And never leave your house if it is a gibbous waning moon.

4/10/12

My 24 hour job

Hubby recently told me that he was envious that I had all this free time and I could do whatever I wanted.

Um, what?  Where's that memo, because I didn't get it.

I informed him that I certainly take offense to that statement, because my "job" is being a mom to these kids.  If I wasn't their caregiver, then I'd have time to do whatever I wanted.  But the reality is that these kids are attached to me.  I can't simply leave them at home.  I can't forget to feed them or change them or make sure they are developing into normal children and not the spawn of Satan (though sometimes I feel I am failing at that one).  I have to be here for them.  I can't just ignore them all day long and "do whatever I wanted"!

Case in point...

Hubby's Day:  He gets up in the morning and gets himself ready.  He goes to work alone in his truck.  True, his job usually sucks, but he's around adults and can have adult conversations.  He has lunch, which he decides is either alone or with friends.  He makes the solo commute back home.  After dinner, he works in the garage, or watches tv.

My Day:  I wake up and get the boys from their room.  I changed a diaper and their clothes.  I make them & myself breakfast.  I pee with an audience.  I change with an audience.  I close my bedroom door and lock it, just to have a few moments by myself, listening to the crying and screaming on the other side.  I bring them shopping and am humiliated out of almost every store.  I feed us lunch.  I pretend to be a superhero for the millionth time.  I pee again, with an audience.  I get into arguments about food, video games, slapping, fighting, shoes, clothes, and juice.  Somewhere in there, I kill their braincells for about an hour with tv, so I can vacuum / empty and load the dishwasher / do laundry / take out the trash / clean the bathroom / bitch on my blog.  I make dinner, with the eldest "helping", aka making a mess (which I don't mind cleaning up, because I love that he wants to cook with me).  I serve us dinner, then clean up the kitchen.  Sometimes, I leave the pots and pans in the sink.  I usually do bath time.  I almost always put pjs on the kids, brush their teeth, and get them ready for bed.  Once the kids are asleep, I'm desperately craving "me time", but don't want to cut into "us time". 

The difference in our days: his day is focused almost completely on himself.  My day is focused almost completely on other people's needs.

Now, exactly how is that not a job????.....

4/6/12

Milspouse Friday Fill-in #70

1. What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?
Hubby not hurting his back.  The man never gets sick or injured, which is why having him in pain has been difficult for him.  I wish he was feeling better... we'll see what the docs say.
2. What was your favorite thing that happened in March? 
Moving to WA.  Don't get me wrong- I miss New England and my family and friends.  And I miss being able to find Moxie, and going to Dunks, and finding good chinese food.  But we are really loving WA!
3. Check your phone… who was the last person you called and what is your favorite thing about them?
My parents (they had me on speaker, so I talked with both of them).  Do I really need to list my favorite things about them?  They are amazing, and I love them!!!
4. If you were a crayon, what color would you be and why?
Red, because it's my favorite color.
5. What are you looking forward to in April?
Getting into shape, seeing old friends and meeting new ones, my bday... there are lots of good things in April.

4/5/12

Random thoughts

You know you're addicted when you put off showering to play Words With Friends.  Just call me Alec.

Stomachache... product of working out too hard the past two weeks, or low thyroid?

Bought kid-friendly traps for Mousey, though they didn't specify if they were LB-friendly.  Turns out, not so much.  He's just too interested in how they catch the mouse and keeps setting them off. 

USAA is such a great bank.  It's too bad we only have a car loan and insurance through them.  I really like their customer service... if we ever switch, it'll be to them.

Parenting fail today:  As LB wandered off in a parking lot, I quickly grabbed him by the arm and said, "What the f*** are you doing??"  *sigh*  Obviously, I let my emotions get the best of me.  But really, can anyone tell me when that instinctive sense of safety will kick in?  The one that prevents him from walking out into traffic, or talking to every stranger he meets, or eating things off the floor?

Branching out and trying new exercise classes.  Piyo- pilates and yoga fusion.  Kinda lame with the little ball at first, but totally kicked my butt... and abs.  Pilates Barre- pilates with some ballet stuff.  Love it.  Killed my inner thighs.  And FAB, Fantastic Abs and Buns- holy crap.  The woman is insane.  Very sore from that class.  Therefore, I will go back every week.

So, at the commissary, my boys met another boy and started playing while I chatted up their mom.  Wicked nice, normal person.  After saying our "Well, I better get going" stuff, I handed her my number, in case she wanted to get the kids together for a playdate, since they got along so well.  And you know what?  I felt kinda weird, like I was hitting on her.  Ugh.  Making new friends with other moms is sort of like the singles scene.  You seek out the most normal looking ones, then chat them up, hoping that it turns into something more, like coffee or lunch.  Hell, even "playdate" has the word "date" in it. 

I made homemade banana bread, due to me being a moron and buying far too many bananas. 

Craving chocolate.  Do I raid the stash that the Easter Bunny has hidden in our pantry?

I did some minor decorating projects... hung some drapes, bought some fake flowers (because, let's face it, I can't not kill a plant).  This is starting to feel like I could stay here awhile.  It's actually an odd feeling to not have another duty station already lined up.  But that's not a bad thing.  I want to stay put for awhile.

4/4/12

The neurotic robin and the invasive mouse.

I thought after living in Carmel Valley, we will have had our fill of nature.  After all, between bobcats and mountain lions and wild turkey and deer and snakes and spiders and lizards, we'd experienced a lot of it.  But nope, now we are dealing with more.

This robin... it has a complex.  It attacks our windows, every single day, all day long.  Peck, peck, peck.  I know that robins aren't very bright and they tend to go after their own reflection, but this stupid bird is the only one attacking our house.  Was it built on some ancient robin burial ground or something?  I'd be less annoyed if it was several birds, because then I'd know that it has nothing to do with them, but with whatever is bothering nature.  But nooooo, this idiotic thing is the only one pecking away at our house.  Stupid bird.

And, just a few minutes ago, while sitting at the kitchen table quietly, I heard a little *scratch scratch* on the stove.  We had signs of a mouse before but hadn't seen it... until now.  I snuck over to the oven to see a little mouse head peeking out of the bottom of the burner.  That SOB... I'm totally going to set traps tonight.

Sidenote:  How in the world can you set traps with curious preschoolers around?  I guess mice-catching will be left as a nighttime job.

Anyway, so there you have it.  I love nature- really.  As much as I bitch about it, I do.  I just wish nature didn't love us so much.

Just say no, or you'll end up like this! (Had to share... yeesh)

4/2/12

Wet Weather

My body might not like all this rain, but my brain definitely does.  Despite the raininess (which isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be), I am loving Washington.  Green, green, green.  Everything feels alive here.  And if that means lots of rain, then so be it- my soul will take a little gloominess for all the beautiful scenery out here.

My hair and pelvis are another story, though.  Anyone with curly hair knows that moisture = frizz.  So my hairstyle of choice has been the boring bun lately, though I've learned to accept my curls in their natural state (okay, with a little help of Catwalk's curling creme).  And my pelvis.... well, let's just say that I feel about 80 years old, because every time the rain's coming, I can tell, and it doesn't feel good. 

But with a little curling creme, a pair of wellies, and apparently a cane, I should be good to go to enjoy this beautiful state!