Memorial Day weekend

How was your past weekend?  I've really enjoyed seeing what people have done to remember those who have served... everything from parades to BBQs to drive-in movies.  We camped.

Hubby planned the whole thing.  He booked a campsite at Skokomish Park near Lake Cushman.  We drove up there and putted around the lake in the boat...

 ...where I pronounced myself queen of the lake....

...then set up camp.

(PS, LLBean makes the best tents in the friggin' world)


After a day of boating and a night of sleeping in the tent, we did some off-roading...

...some hiking, where the boys spotted every single waterfall...

....threw some rocks...

...and found some big trees.

We spent one more night at the campsite, then packed up the next morning.  Despite the rainy forecast, we only had a few sprinkles the second night.  The boys were confused about what we were doing, but quickly found excitement in the novelty of the tent and sleeping outside.  They also really loved exploring and going on adventures, though JC wasn't too keen on walking around a lot, especially up hill.



It was a really fun weekend, despite some tears and some arguments.  Time spent away from television and electronics really made for some great memories.

Today, I hate the world.

It's not even 11am yet and I already hate the day.  I had to take the boys to the DMV with me.  Fortunately, it was quick and the girls working there were really nice and they had a table of toys for the kids.  However.... both LB and JC were fighting, screaming (like, full-on, someone-is-murdering-me screaming), throwing toys at each other, crying, whining, and making a mess.  Funny- this time, the DMV wasn't the issue, it was my children.

I honestly can't be around them today, so they are in their room.  After a lecture about why they're there and how angry I am, they seem to have completely forgotten that they were acting horribly, meanwhile my blood pressure is still sky-high and I still have enough anger to rival The Hulk.  I think putting them in their room is just enough a time-out for me as it is for them.  That's fine- they can stay there until my anger with them has subsided.

Meanwhile, I think I'll put my new plates on the car and vacuum kid shit out of the seats, then sit outside on this sunny warm day and flip through a magazine. 

*One good thing about today- I looked out the window at the large bush hanging down over the stone wall and realized it is a raspberry bush, and there are little green berries (some are turning pink already) that will someday be ripe enough to pick.  Yum!

Conversations with a four year old

LB (at the pool): Mommy!  The big squid is coming to get you!  Run!

Me: Okay!  I'll use my shark powers to swim away.

LB: No, Mom.  You're a whale.

:(

************************************************

LB (after his bath): What if my butt was in front and my penis was in back?

Me: ...Uh, it would be pretty hard to pee like that.

LB: Yeah.  And the poop is too big for my penis, so I would poop out the front.  That's why my butt's so big.

Me: ~No response~ 

OAM

Over Achieving Mom... I saw one the other day.  Highlighted hair, Chanel sunglasses perched on her head so she could take a billion pictures of her kids on a carnival ride with her SLR camera, pushing a Bob stroller that contained several bottles of Voss water and a Louis Vuitton purse.  Her daughter was in a dainty dress, while her son looked like he stepped out of a baby Gap ad.

I remind you, they were at a carnival.  For a Viking Festival.

First, I was slightly shocked that someone would dress their daughter in a dress for riding carnival rides.  The poor kid- she kept pulling at the hem to avoid a Britney/Paris/Miley incident.  And both kids looked totally prim and proper.... and miserable.  The mom kept bouncing around, saying, "Smile for the camera, Makenzie!  Look over here, Braden!"  Seriously, does it surprise you that she named her kids two of the most popular, annoying names ever?

Also, what bugged me about the whole thing is that we were at a carnival.  No one there was dumb enough to wear anything name-brand around cotton candy, bratwurst, ice cream, soda, etc... though I'm sure her kids were not allowed to imbibe in such junk... which brings me to another issue I had with it.  It's a friggin carnival- let the kids have some fun and eat way too much sugar and, I don't know, maybe crack a smile.

I felt bad for the kids.  This mom will probably create a collage with all the carnival pics for future boyfriends or girlfriends to see.  And no one will see the cute outfits, or the Barbie mom behind the camera... they will see the bummed-out expressions on the kids' faces.  This OAM had the unique ability to take something ridiculously fun like a carnival and turn it into something frustrating for the kids and painful to see for the witnesses.

Congrats, OAM.  You got your way.  Your children won't consume high fructose corn syrup or partially hydrogenated soybean oil, and they will look great as they stare forlornly at the other kids licking melting ice cream off their Target t-shirts.  Go you!  I hope you don't blow too much of your money on Louis Vuitton and Chanel, because your kids are gonna need it for "Mommy doesn't love me" therapy.

Let's Get Real

Inspired by a blogger that I enjoy reading (even though I'm terrible about commenting- so sorry, L to the third), I've decided to make Mondays "Let's Get Real" days by linking up with The Daily Wyatt.  It's hard to pick my first topic- I have a lot of little secrets, things that I don't talk about, things I don't want to say but probably need to.  So I picked the first topic suggestion that was put out- a body part or personality trait that you are self-conscious about.  Immediately, I noticed the sentence ended with a preposition, and I thought about writing about my grammar pickiness... but I'm not really self-conscious about it.  I kinda like it.  So I'm going to go with my nose.

I never noticed my nose much until it grew.  It was a cute button nose when I was younger, but suddenly sprouted into this roman monstrosity on my face sometime around middle school.  Even worse, I had a gray mole that was also growing on the right side, in what I called "the witch's spot".  Seriously, it looked like I had dressed up as a witch for Halloween, but forgotten to take off the wart.  When I was 16, my doctor didn't like the appearance of the mole very much, and it was removed by a plastic surgeon.  It also took away some mocking that I'd experienced in school, which I really appreciated. 

But short of a rhinoplasty, there's not much I can do about it.  I have a big bump and it's crooked.  The cartilage at the tip of my nose is skewed to the left.  Plus, it's always stuffy since I have allergies to everything.  When someone is taking a picture, I try to look slightly down and left, which brings out the best angle, but if I forget, or don't realize someone is taking my picture, it dominates the photo. 

Hubby says he likes my nose.  My mom says it's "regal".  I find it just simply too big for my face.  I would get a nose job, but now that I'm in my 30s, it seems so vain.  I mean, half my life I have one nose, then the other half I'd have another?  Doesn't that seem silly?

Silly or not, it doesn't change the fact that I hate my nose.

Culinary help

I'm asking you, readers, for a little bit of help here.  Here's my dilemma- Feeling uninspired in the kitchen.  I can bake goodies for days, but I'm feeling really stuck on dinners.  Any suggestions?  Hubby likes very veggie-heavy dishes and wants to eat less red meat.  Personally, I'm open for anything that tastes good.  Lately, I've been throwing together anything in the cupboard or fridge, but it's more of a tedious feeling that I've never felt about cooking.  I guess the more diet restrictions Hubby is putting on himself, plus the fact that we hardly ever finish a meal all together, makes it less enjoyable for me.  I'm looking for something easy yet amazing, something for me to look forward to making.  Any thoughts?

Yup

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.

I don't remember where I read that quote, but man oh man, does it ring true every time I'm out with the boys.  The stares I get from people who don't know us are ridiculous and make me question all that I'm doing as a mother... until I realize that I'm doing fine, and I should probably just punch their ignorant faces in.  (Yeah, I ended that sentence with a preposition... it's my blog and I'll do what I want!)

It's amazing the effect people's opinions have if you let them.  All the times someone has stared, or said something rude that they thought was helpful, they just don't know.  Autism is a funny thing- it doesn't look like a disease.  It looks like some spoiled kid throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't get his way.  What it actually is is being unable to understand a situation, being unable to regulate emotion, and being unable to stop the tantrum, which is very scary when there is hyperventilating involved.

I can see the fear in LB when it gets to that point.  He can't control his emotion, he gets frustrated being unable to find the words, and he gets frightened when he "loses his breath".  Holding him makes it worse.  Sometimes he'll let me hold his hands, though, and when he's ready to let me help him, we talk about how he's feeling, why he's feeling that way, and how to take a deep breath (it really helps for him).  Sometimes a firm back rub helps, too.

And poor little JC... the little two year old copies everything his big brother does.  He looks up to him so much (when they're not fighting).  Sometimes I feel like I'm living with two autistic kids, though I know it's just a matter of imitation and not an actual issue.

As you can imagine, going out in public is hard.  There are good days, and there are bad days.  During the bad days (which I've been able to quickly spot), we generally don't go out unless we have to.  And when we do, that's when the stares happen.  The whispering (seriously, old ladies, your sense of keeping your voices down are shot when I can clearly hear everything you are "whispering").  The "advice".  It all just makes me want to cry... and punch people. 

But I realize now, after reading and rereading this quote over and over, that I'm just surrounded by assholes.  People that haven't learned proper etiquette about polite small talk and when to keep their traps shut.  People that were never taught to not stare at other people.  People who have obviously never heard the saying, "Judge not, lest you be judged" (or however that goes... my memory sucks). 

Momentum

I feel like things are moving forward.  It's a good feeling, after our stagnant time in CT (though, there were some really good things about being there, but I generally felt like I was.... waiting).  My student loans are finally paid off.  I just sent a check to pay off my Jetta.  And it was our 8th anniversary yesterday.  Hubby bought me an earrings and necklace set of sapphires and diamonds, so gorgeous, and we went out to Mor Mor Bistro for dinner.  Just lots of good things going on!

There are other things to look forward to, as well.  Tomorrow is the SOSA meeting, and I've nominated myself for the position of secretary.  Friday, I'll be meeting with the school district to talk about LB's schooling and an IEP plan.  And this weekend will be sunny and in the 70s- boating, anyone?  Or maybe a drive-in showing of the Avengers?

Still finding my daily groove here, but all of these good things definitely are making it easy to do that.  How's everyone else's month going?

Taking advantage of the gorgeous day? Nah.

It's sunny and beautiful today.  However, the boys and I are indoors.  At least, the windows are open, letting in the fresh air.  But since Hubby took off with the carseats this morning (oops), we didn't get a chance to run any errands.  Instead, the boys are eating brownies and watching Dora while I tackle the mountainous pile of laundry that needs to be done (including bedding, which by itself takes hours).  The weekend was busy with boating adventures and exploring, leaving not much time to do all the daily stuff that needs to be done, like dishes and laundry and toilet bowl cleaning (yeah, that's daily with all the testosterone in the house), ho hum.

How was your weekend?  If it was busy, how do you catch up on Monday?

Milspouse Friday Fill-in #71

1. What’s one thing in the past month you would have changed?
Not much.  April went pretty well!
2. What was your favorite thing that happened in April?
Buying a boat.  I never thought we'd be buying one this soon, but it feels amazing to be out on the water again.
3. What are your plans for Memorial Day?
I have no idea.  I don't even have plans for Mother's Day or our anniversary.
4. Have you ever traveled Space A? If yes, where… if no, would you ever try it?
No, and it's funny that this is a question this month, because I'm really contemplating it.  I want to get from WA to SC, but I've never done it before and am not sure how to go about it.
5. What are you looking forward to in May?
Not sure.  At the moment, I can't look that far into the future.  I'm taking things one day at a time, to prevent me from losing my mind.  Today, I'm looking forward to a playdate with a friend of ours. 

I'm here, really.

It's been an interesting past few weeks.  I had an abdominal CT scan done, and it turns out I don't have a hernia.  Woo hoo!  That's good news.  And here's some more good news: my PCM said that the diastasis recti was bad enough to require plastic surgery to get it fixed, so hopefully (fingers and toes crossed) I'll be able to get an abdominoplasty (aka, tummy tuck) covered by Tricare.  WOO HOO!  I mean, it sucks to know that my boys tore me a new one, in several ways, but considering I was thinking of a tummy tuck anyway, it'll be nice to know that I can get my abs repaired and look less like a deflated blimp at the same time.

So that's the good news.

I'm a little on the fence about how I feel about the next bit of news.  In a way, I also see it as good news.... good news because I knew there was something off and finally a doctor took us seriously and saw it, too.  But I still haven't really come to terms with it.  Anyway, LB was diagnosed with Asperger's.  It's on the autistic spectrum, but fortunately not incredibly debilitating.  It mostly affects his social skills and since he's a smart kid, he'll be able to learn the skills that he lacks (skills that are intuitive to the average person, like appropriate ways of communication or the whole sense of safety thing I was talking about just a few weeks ago).  The doc said there will come a day when you won't be able to tell that he has Asperger's, and then he won't need therapy or an IEP... but it'll be a long road until that point, and I'm just not sure I can do it.

I mean, we only get what we can handle, right?  I guess I'm just doubting my ability to be a special needs mom, but I just want to say, "Really, world?  Really?  Am I really the best person to parent this little guy who will need so much attention and advocating?"  Just hope that I can do it.

Anyway, so that's where my head is.  It really isn't on anything else, although I have been taking the time to catch up with some of my favorite bloggy blogs and generally lurking around the web.  So it may seem like I've fallen off the face of the planet, but I swear, I'm here!  I'm just a little distracted.