A day in the life of me

5:00- Wake up and drive to the gym.  Forgot to roll windows up last night before it rained and sit in wet puddle the whole way.
5:30- Start my workout with a wet ass.  Mid-elliptical, realize the boys need dress shoes for tomorrow.
6:15- Read newspaper, including a letter to the editor about how we need to "take a meat ax to military spending."  Feel my blood pressure sky rocket.
6:50- Get home, kiss Hubby goodbye, and realize the boys are still asleep.
7:30- Boys wake up, chaos ensues.
8:30- Plop boys in front of The Cat In The Hat (tv show, not the stupid movie) and wash my face.  Notice that I am looking tired and old and make a mental note to pick up foundation while out.
9:00- Get my lady moment and immediately take three Midol.
11:00-Sesame Street ends.  Put the boys in the car and begin quest for brown dress shoes.
11:20- Arrive at Target.  JC is sleeping.  LB and I chill out....
...11:50- JC still sleeping. Wake his ass up so we can get going.
12:30- Leave Target empty-handed, enter Payless.
12:32- Leave Payless empty-handed, put boys in the car again.
12:50- Arrive at outdoor mall, notice it's pouring, and turn right around for indoor mall on the other side of the peninsula.
1:30- Arrive at mall and start looking for shoes at Macy's.
1:40- Leave Macy's empty-handed.
1:45- Enter Crazy 8's.  Find nothing.
1:50- Enter Children's Place.  Find nothing.
2:00- Drag children to other side of the mall for Sears.  Force LB to try on shoes.  He screams they're too tight.  Try a size bigger.  He screams they're too tight.  Try clown-sized shoes.  He screams they're too tight.  Give up and find nothing.
2:10- Stop at bagel place for some milk for the boys, root beer for me, and bagel to split.  Killer cramps settle in.
2:15- Obnoxious asshole sits next to us and says I need to control the boys because it'll just get harder when they're teenagers.  Give him a nasty look.
2:25- Obnoxious man starts talking loudly to coworker about how children aren't controlled enough these days and that's what's wrong with America.  Feel my blood pressure sky rocket again, get up, and leave with the boys.
2:26- Pick up a tantrum-throwing LB and carry him under my arm the entire length of the mall.  Receive plenty of stares and ignore them all.
2:40- Put kids in the car and leave for home.  Realize I didn't get foundation or shoes, that I spent $6 today and have nothing to show for it.
2:41- Kids fall asleep.
3:15- Arrive home.  Kids still asleep.  Do a little happy dance and eat a scoop of ice cream.