I overheard some lady spewing this garbage on the treadmill next to me this morning. It infuriated me for some reason.
(Maybe it's because she was yapping away and reeked of perfume. Seriously, gym-goers, forget the perfume and the gossip and just work out... but that rant is for another post.)
I'm not sure why it bothered me so much. Anyone's marriage is their own business, and everyone is entitled to their opinions, and certainly everyone's allowed to have bad days. I guess what bothered me is that I'm pretty certain that woman wouldn't say that to her husband's face.
If you can't say something to your husband's face, shouldn't you just not say it at all?
It's one thing if you're gabbing with a close friend (in privacy) and you tell her you called your husband an asshole, but it's another to broadcast to everyone around you that you think your husband is a jerk.
She was telling her friend that she was taking this 71 year old to the pool to work out. She bashed that woman out loud, saying she had the body of an 87 year old and that she had all these health problems, like a broken hip (excuse me, a person of any age can fracture their hip, thankyouverymuch). She said she was trying to get her husband in the pool, but he doesn't want to go because he doesn't know what to do in the pool. Then she went on to say how he never listens to her and how he's stubborn and such an asshole.
Maybe he's an asshole because she's all up on her high horse, talking crap about everyone in public.
The whole thing was pissing me off so much that I got off the treadmill, shot her a nasty look, and stretched out. I didn't return to my run until she had left. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that, who would verbally tear me apart in public. My guess is that if she really thought her husband was a jerk, and has said that to his face, they wouldn't be married right now.
I suppose the lack of respect bothered me the most. No matter what is going on in a relationship, I don't think it's a good idea to air your dirty laundry in public. Like I said before, ranting to a close friend is one thing, but letting everyone around you know the negative thoughts you have for another person is very unpleasant and uncomfortable. And disrespectful. I think we should all give the people we are married to the common courtesy of not calling them assholes in public.
Any thoughts?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
one comment: totally agree. ;) seriously, people like that are why people think "marriage sucks."
I agree! I always flinch when people call their spouses names (other than a teasing nerd/dork), especially if it's in public and their spouse isn't present. It IS disrespectful and just plain hostile.
Yup. You made a commitment to support them, and that means in public as well! Criticism and contempt are 2 of the 4 "horsemen" of divorce, as researched by John Gottman. (See, I did learn something in college!)
Ugh, nothing makes me more uncomfortable when people trash-talk their spouses, even in blog-world. That especially, actually. I don't comment, it's awkward... and of course 3 days later everything is back to normal with "he is so amazing". Like the trash talking never happened. I'm with you- I don't like people like that either.
EEeeek! Maybe that's why I don't belong to a gym ;) I am always leary about people who say not-so-nice things about other people to me because I figure someday I'll be the subject of that person's rantings. Certainly, marriage is a tough institution at times, and we all need our outlets but the gym is not an appropriate one.
Totally agree. It makes me extremely uncomfortable when people say nasty things about their spouses, especially when it seems like they then expect me to commiserate by turning around and complaining about my husband. Sorry, I'm not going to talk behind my husband's back just to make someone feel better about her relationship problems. Not my style.
It makes me very uncomfortable too. You shouldn't be saying nasty things about your husband. If he is so nasty the person should work it out at home. But this lady seems like she trash talks everyone. I wouldn't feel safe being her friend either.
Post a Comment