Short letters, peppered with lots of swears. You've been warned.

Dear asshole in the Acura,

Thank you so much for running me off the road in my husband's truck!  I was only a mile from home and hadn't been in an accident all day, so I'm super happy that you were willing to do that for me.  Thank you for speeding on a narrow bridge that makes a sharp, blind curve, and thank you for taking up the entire road to do so.  I can't tell you how much fucking fun it was to call Hubby and tell him his new truck had a flat and needed a new rim.  And only less than two weeks from driving it across the country!  Your timing is impeccable.

Sincerely,
Me

PS- I hope karma fucks you in the ass.

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Dear CV neighbors,

I am happy that I could put on a spectacle on the side of the road for you.  I haven't performed in quite some time, so given the chance to wrestle (and fail) with a spare tire was a fantastic opportunity for me.  I'm sure you all got a nice shot of my coot, seeing how I was lying under the truck, only legs and ass visible- you're welcome.  I appreciate the stares of all the people that passed me by.  Oh, and thank you so very fucking much for not stopping or asking if I needed help.  That would have only hindered my performance.

Sincerely,
Me

PS- You can all go fuck yourselves.

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Dear New England,

You get a bad rap about your citizens' driving.  It's too bad, because even if they drive fast and cut one another off, most people there are at least attentive.  Here in CA, people do not pay attention when they are driving.  In fact, some of them don't even look forward!  It makes for a super fun driving experience.  But I think I'll take the Massholes over that.  Can't wait to see you again!

Love,
Me