Yahoo questions and my totally deserved answers

These are real Yahoo questions, posted by real people.  It's hard to tell if they are a joke or not.... I'm sure most of them are serious.  However, the questions are so ridiculously dumb that I've formed some pretty asshole, sarcastic answers I'd like to share with you.

1. "Is it better to do your own hair/makeup for prom or get it done professionally?"
Um, helloooo!!  Daddy's paying for the dress and limo and flowers and pictures- you should make him pony up the money for the hair and makeup, too!  After all, this isn't Sweet Sixteen, this is prom, biatch!  Time to step up your game!

2. "Im looking for ways to do a "poor-man's" copywrite for music?  If i upload a video of the song to youtube, is that proof that I own it?  I also heard about mailing a cd to yourself and not opening it for proof of ownership.  Just let me know if these will work,especially the youtube one and if you know other ways, that would be helpful too. thanks."
If I sing your song, does that mean I now own it?  Also, if I mail myself a check for a million dollars, does that mean I can cash it for a million if I have no money?... If you want a copyright, submit an application for the rights and pay the fee.  Dipshit.

3. " I'm 16 and I'm scared . Today I had dry sex with my boyfriend. I was totally naked & he had clothes on but his jeans were half way down and he said he came . I got off but I was totally dry. Is there a chance I'm pregnant"
No, you have to, like, have sex to get pregnant, moron.  And by the way, why aren't you being taught this information from your parents or health class???????

4. " I am 16 and, as it says in the title, majorly uneducated on the war that America is currently in involving the Taliban. This is such a huge conflict that has been developing for so many years that I find the idea of researching it exhausting, and I honestly love researching.  Can someone please get me started with a simple overview of who/what the Taliban are/is, how America got involved, what compelled whoever was president at the time that the war started to get involved, how long it has been going on, how it escalated, where the war is, the public's opinion on the whole thing, and any other useful details that might be included?  Links and credible sources would also be very helpful. I know that this is a pretty big task but I figured there must be someone on her interested enough to educate me!"
OMFG.... are you serious???  Are you really the future of our country????

5. " My moon is in Leo at 0 degrees in the 10th house with a Libra ascendant and venus in Taurus in 8th house  I was born at 4:04pm June 2nd, 1995 Stamford CT  Does this make my moon more effected by Leo, or do I would I have more lingering Cancer traits??"
It's tough to say.  Email me your full name, address, and social security number.  Also, snail mail me your credit card, so I can have a tangible piece of your possessions to get an accurate reading.  But I must warn you- a moon in Leo is very bad.  It is known to turn you into a werewolf.  You should warn every person you meet of this possible situation.  And never leave your house if it is a gibbous waning moon.