LB woke up this morning with four welts on his arms- three on his left arm and one on his right. They were big red welts and a little swollen. I'm pretty sure they are spider bites, but I didn't see anything in his crib. The insect must have gotten stuck in his pjs (poor LB).
So he's been a little cranky and doesn't want me touching his arms, but thankfully hasn't run a fever or hasn't been sick to his stomach, so I'm glad it wasn't anything to freak out over. I've just been putting hydrocortisone on the bites to help with any itching and swelling, but I still feel so bad! I mean, it's my duty to protect my child, and I wasn't there when he got bit!
I guess I'm beating myself up over it. I couldn't possibly know that last night there was a bug in his crib. I do look at his sheets just to check (especially after the centipede invasion), so I guess besides sleeping in his room, I did all I could do. But I just know when other people look at him, they're going to think "Uh, where was his mother while he was getting bit FOUR times??"
Times like these, being a mom has made me feel like the most incompetent person on the planet!
*I know I'm not. I mean, I do some pretty bad things, like let him watch a little too much TV, or let him cry it out when he has a temper tantrum, but overall, I know I'm not completely incompetent. Just look at the Parenting Genius....
6/13/09
6/10/09
Clusterf*ck
Noun: Military term for an operation in which multiple things have gone wrong. Related to SNAFU (Situation Normal, All F*cked Up) and "FUBAR" (F*cked Up Beyond All Repair). *As quoted from www.urbandictionary.com.
I'm having a hard time discerning my role in a particular situation. There are some guidelines (we'll call them the BL) which illustrate my duties, and there are situations I have volunteered for, which come with pretty common-sense responsibilities. But it seems that my toes are being stepped on repeatedly by the same people, and I don't think I'm the only one.
I volunteered my services for a particular project. It entails supervision, making a few changes, and pretty much taking care of things so other people don't have to worry about them. They know I'm doing it, so it's one less thing to worry about. But what happens when another person starts running the show and making changes? Do I suggest they take over, considering my role as supervisor appears to be null? Do I even approach the tiny things they have done? Or do I just let it slip by... just like I've let all those other minor things slip by?
This afternoon, I came across some correspondence. According to the BL, these situations should be discussed within a certain circle of people.... all of whom were noticably absent in the receipt of said correspondence. It was just sheer curiousity that allowed me to happen to find out about it. And the people that were privy to that information were not within the circle- they were "associates"... people who are not officially involved, but more like supporters and coaches, not leaders. The person that originated this correspondence is part of the circle, but why she chose to leave out the others is beyond me.
Another project requires the assistance of an associate who refuses to provide it to me. This may be making me look bad to the collective group, since they do not have knowledge of the lack of communication. Do I confront this person? I have requested said information numerous times, only to receive the response of no response.
The BL exists for a reason, and that reason is to avoid conflict and confusion when delegating responsibilities within the circle. When expectations are straight-forward, there is less likely to be awkward moments such as these. Responsibilities for each person in the circle (and for the associates) are clearly explained, so why are we not following them? Is it just that we can't stand up to one particular person who is making it difficult to do our own jobs? Is it because we don't want to piss off the head honchos? Well, I find it frustrating that I am expected to do certain duties, but cannot do them all because they are done behind my back without any collaboration or notification. And I find it irritating that my role, chosen by the collective group, is being ignored by behind-the-curtains correspondence.
What makes this even more annoying is that I was asked by an associate to fill this role. Why put me within the circle if there's no point to the circle any more? If the associates want so desperately to run the show, then I say let them. Even though they are not actually allowed because of their position, I'm tired of playing catch up and being the last to know. Don't ask me to be part of something just to disregard my existance and responsibilities within the group.
I'm having a hard time discerning my role in a particular situation. There are some guidelines (we'll call them the BL) which illustrate my duties, and there are situations I have volunteered for, which come with pretty common-sense responsibilities. But it seems that my toes are being stepped on repeatedly by the same people, and I don't think I'm the only one.
I volunteered my services for a particular project. It entails supervision, making a few changes, and pretty much taking care of things so other people don't have to worry about them. They know I'm doing it, so it's one less thing to worry about. But what happens when another person starts running the show and making changes? Do I suggest they take over, considering my role as supervisor appears to be null? Do I even approach the tiny things they have done? Or do I just let it slip by... just like I've let all those other minor things slip by?
This afternoon, I came across some correspondence. According to the BL, these situations should be discussed within a certain circle of people.... all of whom were noticably absent in the receipt of said correspondence. It was just sheer curiousity that allowed me to happen to find out about it. And the people that were privy to that information were not within the circle- they were "associates"... people who are not officially involved, but more like supporters and coaches, not leaders. The person that originated this correspondence is part of the circle, but why she chose to leave out the others is beyond me.
Another project requires the assistance of an associate who refuses to provide it to me. This may be making me look bad to the collective group, since they do not have knowledge of the lack of communication. Do I confront this person? I have requested said information numerous times, only to receive the response of no response.
The BL exists for a reason, and that reason is to avoid conflict and confusion when delegating responsibilities within the circle. When expectations are straight-forward, there is less likely to be awkward moments such as these. Responsibilities for each person in the circle (and for the associates) are clearly explained, so why are we not following them? Is it just that we can't stand up to one particular person who is making it difficult to do our own jobs? Is it because we don't want to piss off the head honchos? Well, I find it frustrating that I am expected to do certain duties, but cannot do them all because they are done behind my back without any collaboration or notification. And I find it irritating that my role, chosen by the collective group, is being ignored by behind-the-curtains correspondence.
What makes this even more annoying is that I was asked by an associate to fill this role. Why put me within the circle if there's no point to the circle any more? If the associates want so desperately to run the show, then I say let them. Even though they are not actually allowed because of their position, I'm tired of playing catch up and being the last to know. Don't ask me to be part of something just to disregard my existance and responsibilities within the group.
6/9/09
Dinner for one...
...just doesn't work. I've halved recipes. I've quartered recipes. And I still end up making way too much food!
I have taco leftovers, chili-mac leftovers, and pork chops with potatoes leftovers. And, I hate eating the same thing all the time, so what am I going to do with these leftovers? I need LB to be about a decade older, so he can start eating me out of house and home. I know when we have two teenage boys, I'll be saying the opposite- complaining that there's never any food in the house because the boys eat everything. But right now, I'm needing a dinner partner... or 2 or 3...
There's something about being pregnant that makes me want to cook. I don't know, maybe I just want to feed the baby something homemade and not processed, or maybe I just feel domesticated being pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen (holy crap, have I become a '50s cliche??). But I can't stop. And last time I was pregnant, my doctor actually told me that I had to share what I cook because I was gaining too much weight (oops), but there's no one here that will eat my cooking, except for Puppy.
Any takers for dinner? I also do desserts- tonight's dessert is homemade oatmeal raisin cookies. :)
I have taco leftovers, chili-mac leftovers, and pork chops with potatoes leftovers. And, I hate eating the same thing all the time, so what am I going to do with these leftovers? I need LB to be about a decade older, so he can start eating me out of house and home. I know when we have two teenage boys, I'll be saying the opposite- complaining that there's never any food in the house because the boys eat everything. But right now, I'm needing a dinner partner... or 2 or 3...
There's something about being pregnant that makes me want to cook. I don't know, maybe I just want to feed the baby something homemade and not processed, or maybe I just feel domesticated being pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen (holy crap, have I become a '50s cliche??). But I can't stop. And last time I was pregnant, my doctor actually told me that I had to share what I cook because I was gaining too much weight (oops), but there's no one here that will eat my cooking, except for Puppy.
Any takers for dinner? I also do desserts- tonight's dessert is homemade oatmeal raisin cookies. :)
6/7/09
Not feeling it
I'm in a bad mood today. I don't know why. I'm just all pissy and exhausted.
Last night, I went out with some boat wives to dinner and movie. We saw The Hangover, by the way. Pretty funny! Saw a preview for Bruno- gotta see that with the ladies. We had a really good time- I'm glad we could plan it so I could get a sitter in advance. Anyway, I came home at 10:30 last night, not too late. I spent about an hour writing to the Hubby and checking facebook and catching some SNL before I went to sleep. Then I woke up at about 3am- I swear I felt like I was going into labor. Just Braxton Hicks coupled with gas, but it sucked. Then LB woke up before 7am.
So all morning, and I know I'm a terrible mom for doing this, I left the Disney channel on and took a nap on the couch. I was so tired! And I feel like I could sleep some more. I've been like this for the past couple of days, and I don't know if it's because the pregnancy is just progressing or what, but I'm sick of it. It's so frustrating to be exhausted all the time... which is putting me in a pissy mood.
Some of the boat ladies were going to the beach today, but I haven't heard which beach, which is probably better that way. I don't think I could chase LB around out in the hot sun today- not being this tired. I really think this might be one of those "lay around the house" days. Totally boring for LB, but I just can't get my fat ass moving. That's another thing that's pissing me off. I know that I'm supposed to gain weight because I'm pregnant, but it's bothering me that I'm already at the weight I am. I love my kids so much, but I'm not too thrilled about the extra pounds that come along with it.
Pair the low self-esteem, Braxton Hicks from last night, and an early bird of a son, and I'm just in one of those moods. Grumpy. Exasperated. Lazy. Hormone-induced emotional. And all I can think about is, I can't wait until Hubby gets home.
Last night, I went out with some boat wives to dinner and movie. We saw The Hangover, by the way. Pretty funny! Saw a preview for Bruno- gotta see that with the ladies. We had a really good time- I'm glad we could plan it so I could get a sitter in advance. Anyway, I came home at 10:30 last night, not too late. I spent about an hour writing to the Hubby and checking facebook and catching some SNL before I went to sleep. Then I woke up at about 3am- I swear I felt like I was going into labor. Just Braxton Hicks coupled with gas, but it sucked. Then LB woke up before 7am.
So all morning, and I know I'm a terrible mom for doing this, I left the Disney channel on and took a nap on the couch. I was so tired! And I feel like I could sleep some more. I've been like this for the past couple of days, and I don't know if it's because the pregnancy is just progressing or what, but I'm sick of it. It's so frustrating to be exhausted all the time... which is putting me in a pissy mood.
Some of the boat ladies were going to the beach today, but I haven't heard which beach, which is probably better that way. I don't think I could chase LB around out in the hot sun today- not being this tired. I really think this might be one of those "lay around the house" days. Totally boring for LB, but I just can't get my fat ass moving. That's another thing that's pissing me off. I know that I'm supposed to gain weight because I'm pregnant, but it's bothering me that I'm already at the weight I am. I love my kids so much, but I'm not too thrilled about the extra pounds that come along with it.
Pair the low self-esteem, Braxton Hicks from last night, and an early bird of a son, and I'm just in one of those moods. Grumpy. Exasperated. Lazy. Hormone-induced emotional. And all I can think about is, I can't wait until Hubby gets home.
6/6/09
Proud of my LB
A few days ago, I took LB to see his first movie in a theater. The local theater has a "Crybaby Matinee", which means you can see a current film but can also bring your screaming kids. Children under 5 are free (score!), and adults just pay the matinee price. Sounded like a good idea, so I got LB ready and met my neighbor and her three kids there.
I was so ecstatic at how well the movie went. We saw "Up"- I won't ruin the movie for those of you that haven't seen it, but it did make me cry in the beginning, thinking about my grandpa. Thank goodness for dark theaters! They also had a changing table inside the theater, and a place to park strollers. LB stayed in his stroller next to my seat (he's still a little young to be restraint-free in public... and I'm a little too preggers to be running after him). He drank his juice and ate Goldfish and raisins the whole time. There were a few baby-babble outbursts from him, but overall he was just entranced by the movie. Especially the colorful balloons.
The rest of the theater was surprisingly quiet! There were a bunch of babies and kids, but I guess if you plop them down in front of Pixar, they're bound to be quiet, haha. There were only a few couples in the audience- most of it were parents and their kids- and you could tell they had no idea it was the Crybaby Matinee, but oh well.
So overall, LB did extremely well! I don't think he's anywhere near ready for an adult movie time, but these Crybaby Matinees work out really well for us. I just wish we had known about it sooner!
I was so ecstatic at how well the movie went. We saw "Up"- I won't ruin the movie for those of you that haven't seen it, but it did make me cry in the beginning, thinking about my grandpa. Thank goodness for dark theaters! They also had a changing table inside the theater, and a place to park strollers. LB stayed in his stroller next to my seat (he's still a little young to be restraint-free in public... and I'm a little too preggers to be running after him). He drank his juice and ate Goldfish and raisins the whole time. There were a few baby-babble outbursts from him, but overall he was just entranced by the movie. Especially the colorful balloons.
The rest of the theater was surprisingly quiet! There were a bunch of babies and kids, but I guess if you plop them down in front of Pixar, they're bound to be quiet, haha. There were only a few couples in the audience- most of it were parents and their kids- and you could tell they had no idea it was the Crybaby Matinee, but oh well.
So overall, LB did extremely well! I don't think he's anywhere near ready for an adult movie time, but these Crybaby Matinees work out really well for us. I just wish we had known about it sooner!
6/5/09
Housefly Sex A-Trax
Now that LB can open doors, and Puppy likes to be let out but not locked out, we've had a million flies enter the house. It was getting to the point where I was using the swatter to kill about ten a day. Gross. So I went to the Outdoor Center and bought a fly trap. It's the kind that's just a roll of sticky paper.
When I took it out of the box, I put it on the windowsill, out of LB's reach, but near where the flies congregate. Inside the box were two packets of Sex A-Trax. Woah. Apparently, it's this stuff that flies are, like, wicked into... kinda gross to think that flies have sex drives. Anyway, it said to sprinkle it on the fly trap. To quote: "To enhance housefly attraction,... sprinkle entire contents of Housefly Sex A-Trax over... sticky area of the Stick-A-Fly Trap."
I didn't think I'd need it, but after an hour, it had only caught two flies, so I thought, what the hell. I sprinkled it on, then waited. After two hours (two hours), there were 22 flies on the trap! I didn't even realize there were that many in the house! By the end of the day, I had counted 44 flies and 1 mosquito (with an apparent identity crisis).
I don't know what's more gross- having 44 flies in your house (thank you LB & Puppy... I don't have enough to do around here), or needing to use housefly pheromones.
When I took it out of the box, I put it on the windowsill, out of LB's reach, but near where the flies congregate. Inside the box were two packets of Sex A-Trax. Woah. Apparently, it's this stuff that flies are, like, wicked into... kinda gross to think that flies have sex drives. Anyway, it said to sprinkle it on the fly trap. To quote: "To enhance housefly attraction,... sprinkle entire contents of Housefly Sex A-Trax over... sticky area of the Stick-A-Fly Trap."
I didn't think I'd need it, but after an hour, it had only caught two flies, so I thought, what the hell. I sprinkled it on, then waited. After two hours (two hours), there were 22 flies on the trap! I didn't even realize there were that many in the house! By the end of the day, I had counted 44 flies and 1 mosquito (with an apparent identity crisis).
I don't know what's more gross- having 44 flies in your house (thank you LB & Puppy... I don't have enough to do around here), or needing to use housefly pheromones.
6/3/09
Amygdala vs. frontal lobe
Okay, so I might have this backwards, but I'm pretty sure the amygdala part of your brain is active during impulses, while the frontal lobe is active when you stop to think and reason. I'm pretty sure that the general public is thinking with their amygdala way more than they should.
I was inspired to write this from a Seasonique commercial. For those of you that don't know what it is, it's a birth control pill that brings your total periods from 12 per year to 4 per year. They even ask during the commercial "who says that time of the month has to be every month?" Well, I'll tell you, Mother f-ing Nature says so!
Why do we keep screwing with Mother Nature? We keep trying to have our cake and eat it, too. There are so many things out there that go against nature, like IVF, Splenda, and plastic surgery. Why can't we just be satisfied with how things are and know what our limits are?
I agree that there are some "fake" things that we need, like life-saving medications, but I think this whole thing is getting a little out of control. Yes, we women get periods every month. Yes, it sucks. But I don't think it's very healthy (no matter what anyone says) to screw with that. I think we just need to accept it.
Just like we need to accept the fact that cookies are not good for us, or that soda is bad, or that ice cream will make you fat. Messing around with this stuff so that we can eat the chocolate chip cookies for fewer calories is (in my opinion) worse for us than the real thing. Think about all the fake crap that goes into making these foods. And we wonder why, after poisoning our bodies with this stuff, there are more cases of diabetes and cancer and obesity.
What happened to restraint? To doing what's best for ourselves, even if we don't like it? I know some women just absolutely need to have children, but if their bodies won't, for whatever reason, become or stay pregnant, there's probably a reason. And there are other options than pumping your body with drugs just to fulfill some selfish desire of being pregnant (really, it's not all that it's cracked up to be).
And don't get me started on plastic surgery. It's only necessary in severe cases, such as burn victims and kids with cleft lips. Everyone was born looking different- it's part of what makes us special. So why implant silicone all over our bodies, just to look like a different person?
Wake up, people! Use your frontal lobe! Obviously, there's a correlation between all this fake stuff and all these health problems. Everyone just needs to learn to control their impulses, take a step back, and really think about what they are doing to themselves.
I was inspired to write this from a Seasonique commercial. For those of you that don't know what it is, it's a birth control pill that brings your total periods from 12 per year to 4 per year. They even ask during the commercial "who says that time of the month has to be every month?" Well, I'll tell you, Mother f-ing Nature says so!
Why do we keep screwing with Mother Nature? We keep trying to have our cake and eat it, too. There are so many things out there that go against nature, like IVF, Splenda, and plastic surgery. Why can't we just be satisfied with how things are and know what our limits are?
I agree that there are some "fake" things that we need, like life-saving medications, but I think this whole thing is getting a little out of control. Yes, we women get periods every month. Yes, it sucks. But I don't think it's very healthy (no matter what anyone says) to screw with that. I think we just need to accept it.
Just like we need to accept the fact that cookies are not good for us, or that soda is bad, or that ice cream will make you fat. Messing around with this stuff so that we can eat the chocolate chip cookies for fewer calories is (in my opinion) worse for us than the real thing. Think about all the fake crap that goes into making these foods. And we wonder why, after poisoning our bodies with this stuff, there are more cases of diabetes and cancer and obesity.
What happened to restraint? To doing what's best for ourselves, even if we don't like it? I know some women just absolutely need to have children, but if their bodies won't, for whatever reason, become or stay pregnant, there's probably a reason. And there are other options than pumping your body with drugs just to fulfill some selfish desire of being pregnant (really, it's not all that it's cracked up to be).
And don't get me started on plastic surgery. It's only necessary in severe cases, such as burn victims and kids with cleft lips. Everyone was born looking different- it's part of what makes us special. So why implant silicone all over our bodies, just to look like a different person?
Wake up, people! Use your frontal lobe! Obviously, there's a correlation between all this fake stuff and all these health problems. Everyone just needs to learn to control their impulses, take a step back, and really think about what they are doing to themselves.
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