Not feeling as socially retarded...

Yes, I used the word retarded. Get over it.

Anyway, I had some nice phone conversations today, with my mom and my friend GA. The one with GA helped me the most- I'd forgotten what it was like to have convos with her! It made me feel more my age and less like an old fart. :)

I'd been pretty down about myself lately. SAHM is a good deal- the boys aren't raised by someone else and I get to see every little cute thing they do. But it's not always like that, and when I'm having a particularly bad day (which is happening more frequently as LB becomes more toddler and less baby), I wonder what ever possessed me into thinking it would be great.

Sometimes I just long for adult company... get your mind out of the gutter, pervert. :) When I'm talking to my kids, it's in this annoying high-pitched kid-friendly voice, and when I'm disciplining them, that's when I use the adult voice... but I don't want to always be saying "no" or "don't hit" or "be nice". I'd like to have meaningful conversations, ones that include more than two words.

It's getting to the point where I know my brain is freezing up even more from lack of use. Like more frequent brain farts, where I can't form words even when they're on the tip of my tongue and I've completely forgotten what I was going to do or say next. I guess I could chalk it up to sleepless nights and the lifestyle of a newborn and toddler, but it's a little depressing to know I'm sounding like a stuttering idiot.

It definitely helped to talk with GA. We always laugh a lot- I think it's because we just get each other. Yes, Hubby and I get each other, but I only see him a couple of hours at night... hardly enough adult time. It was great to have the kids napping and chatting with an old friend- made me feel more like my old self! Pre-baby speak and pre-retardedness.

I guess at this point I should apologize to people for making them uncomfortable with me being a wet noodle.

To the people at the H&F, we left at 9:30... I'm usually asleep then. So I was tired. But also, I was having continual brain farts. I'm sorry. At least they weren't real farts.

To my friends, I'm sorry for sounding like a drained, worn out loser. I seriously wanted to have something better to say (and in a voice that sounded better), and hopefully I won't be so moronic the next time we talk.

To the random people who try to strike up conversation, you get no excuse. I really don't want to talk to you.

I suppose I should come up with a new saying, because in my experience it rings true: Behind every put-together household is a fatigued mommy. Seriously, who has it all together all the time? And don't mention celebrities- they get help. I challenge you to think of a single family where they always look good and are well-fed and the house is clean and blah blah blah, and the mommy looks great. I find it's usually the mommies that do a lot of the work in a household... although if my theory is true, there would be more socially retarded mommies. Are there any out there? Or am I the only one? And if there are more, where are the support groups being held?