I don't get it.

I don't understand what goes on in the world. It's too tough to figure out, which makes me frustrated.

There has been bad news around me for a little while now. My friend LL recently had a baby. He was a little bit premature, and once he was born, they discovered a few things. The most noticeable one was the fact that he didn't have a right eyeball. They also discovered a heart issue (something about the right and left ventricles having space or something), then he was put on a ventilator, then his white blood count was out of whack, and now they say he has bleeding in his brain and something about his "white matter" not developing properly.

LL is a dietician. She's a very smart, responsible person. It blows my mind that this happens to someone like that, meanwhile worthless idiots seem to have perfectly healthy babies (which they later mess up by feeding them crap and letting them sit around playing video games... but that's for a different post). It doesn't seem fair at all.

Another not-fair thing was the death of a high school classmate. He and I weren't close- in fact, we only shared one class, and that was middle school band. But my high school wasn't big, and I definitely remember him well. He was 30. Thirty! WTF?? How do things happen like this to young, healthy people? It's so sad and ridiculously unfair.

And to hear about the details of the Fort Hood murders was crazy. The guy was supposed to be a psychiatrist, when he himself needed therapy! I just don't understand it.

How do you make sense out of things like this? I drank while I was (unknowingly) pregnant with JC. I skipped my prenatal vitamins more than I'd care to admit. I've been on a military base with stressed-out soldiers. I'm almost 30 years old. So why do things happen to some people and not to others?