Dear white Kia Optima, CT license plate# 517 TEZ,

I understand that your oh-so-urgent run to Dunks probably made you late for your nail appointment, but here's a tip: when you're turning left and crossing two lanes of traffic, you do not have the right of way.

My reaction to beep and you and ask "What the fuck are you doing?!" was totally warranted.  You were turning into MY lane- that means, you need to yield to me.  Slowly inching your car across three lanes of traffic is not the way to yield.  By definition, "yield" means to concede, to allow, to grant, etc.  Given that I was already traveling on the road that you were trying to turn into, I had the right of way.  Perhaps if you spent less time on your fake blonde hair and more time in driver's ed, you'd understand the rules of the road and stop potentially causing collisions.

I know you were mad, as evident by your gratuitous use of the middle finger.  I returned the gesture, mostly accompanied by laughter at your complete stupidity.  But guess what, biatch- you've made my shit list, and your crappy Kia Optima better be equipped with security cameras because if I see it, I will key it.

I sincerely hope your Kia drives off a cliff and rids the world of yet-another clueless bimbo driver,
Me