So, that last post was unfair. Of course I deserved a speeding ticket (though the details I firmly believe were not correct). I guess I was upset because I'm starting to think, if it doesn't matter about the good things you do, then why do them? That post wasn't really about the police... more about my frustration with the world.
I do good things for two reasons- my moral compass and (perceived) recognition. As a kid and a teenager, if you did something good, you were rewarded. Studied hard? You got an A. Practiced your flute like mad? You got into All-State. Worked overtime to ensure that your section of the marching band knew their charts perfectly? You were in the paper (seriously, that happened... apparently, my former district really valued music and a hard work ethic). But you know what I'm learning about the real world (which is a hard lesson, considering I spent the first 18 years of my life in that reward system bubble): nobody cares.
Nobody cares what you do. Hold the door for someone? You probably won't get thanked. Be 100% honest on your resume? You will probably lose the job to someone who fibbed on theirs. Trust your local politicians to accurately represent you? Only if you hold similar beliefs.
My moral compass hasn't swayed, but I'm feeling bitter about it. If nobody cares whether you follow the rules or not, then why do it? Some people would argue that it makes you feel good to do good. True, though temporary. And some would argue that doing the right thing does get noticed. Of course, we all know about the bus monitor who did the right thing in her situation, and now is going to receive something like $500K because of generous people recognizing her actions. But honestly, how often does that happen? If you pick up litter off the street and throw it in a trashcan, there is no personal cheering squad screaming, "Go you! Woo hoo!" There are no ribbons, awards, and trophies in life.
Then, of course, there's the thought of setting a good example. That's part of my moral compass, trying to live by the Golden Rule, showing my kids how to be good people. I guess that should be good reason enough, but as all parents know, kids don't always pick up on the examples set for them.
Am I really going through a mid-life crisis? Geez, when did this blog become so dark? I'm going to need to post something light-hearted next time! But, thanks for putting up with me (if you've read this far).
(Feel free to tell me I'm right, wrong, crazy, need a psychotherapist, etc. I'm hardly offended by much!)
2 comments:
If you want someone to thank you for holding a door, you need to move to the South. Our hospitality is the least we can give you for putting up with the humidity.
Also, this is weird, but there actually IS a website that gives you points for doing all your good stuff. I joined it a few months back and soon forgot about it. But you can redeem your points for gift cards, so I need to hop back on! http://www.dailyfeats.com
Oh, I have felt some of the same things you're feeling. Mostly, mine revolve around money, debt, why some people seem to have it easier when it comes to money...IT'S NOT FAIR!! However, I try to tell myself, who said life was going to be fair, anyways? Fairness isn't part of the deal, unfortunately. Although I'm Lutheran, I like the Buddhist believe that life IS suffering and once you can get past that...well, life is just, well life.
Sorry to get all woo-woo on you :)
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