Oh no, please don't tell me you ate it.

LB was outside playing this afternoon while I cleaned up the kitchen. We usually do that, since I can see him from the lower level of the house, and it gets him out of the way. Otherwise, he'd be putting on my oven mitts or playing with my spatulas. Nothing bad, just rather annoying when I'm trying to tidy up.

Anyway, he was outside while I concentrated on what I was doing inside. A few times he popped his head in the door and said "hi", then went back out and about his business. One of those times, I smelled something really bad. I thought it was just my imagination. But the next time he came in and I smelled it, it smelled like the worst diaper I could possibly imagine.

I checked the back of his diaper, imagining a huge, nasty blowout. But nothing was there. I said, "Whew, you stink!" and looked at him. That's when I saw the brown smears all over his clothes. Then I saw the brown hands. It clearly was not dirt. I tried baby-wiping his hands, but it only got about half of it off. Then I looked outside.

Wild turkey shit everywhere. Yup. Everywhere. And it wasn't all just poop- some of it, like what LB found, was wild turkey diarreah.

I saw the turkeys this morning. There was a flock pack butt-ton of them wandering down our driveway. I didn't think much of it, especially since none of them looked like they had to take a massive dump on my driveway, but apparently one did. And I feel so stupid that I didn't notice this when I let LB outside.

Ugh. I just hope he didn't eat any. I'm bracing for a sick toddler.

By the way, LB had a nice long bath this afternoon, and I threw all his clothes in the washer on the hot cycle. Screw energy conservation with this one- I'm just aiming for sanity conservation. And possibly lunch conservation.