Yup

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.

I don't remember where I read that quote, but man oh man, does it ring true every time I'm out with the boys.  The stares I get from people who don't know us are ridiculous and make me question all that I'm doing as a mother... until I realize that I'm doing fine, and I should probably just punch their ignorant faces in.  (Yeah, I ended that sentence with a preposition... it's my blog and I'll do what I want!)

It's amazing the effect people's opinions have if you let them.  All the times someone has stared, or said something rude that they thought was helpful, they just don't know.  Autism is a funny thing- it doesn't look like a disease.  It looks like some spoiled kid throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't get his way.  What it actually is is being unable to understand a situation, being unable to regulate emotion, and being unable to stop the tantrum, which is very scary when there is hyperventilating involved.

I can see the fear in LB when it gets to that point.  He can't control his emotion, he gets frustrated being unable to find the words, and he gets frightened when he "loses his breath".  Holding him makes it worse.  Sometimes he'll let me hold his hands, though, and when he's ready to let me help him, we talk about how he's feeling, why he's feeling that way, and how to take a deep breath (it really helps for him).  Sometimes a firm back rub helps, too.

And poor little JC... the little two year old copies everything his big brother does.  He looks up to him so much (when they're not fighting).  Sometimes I feel like I'm living with two autistic kids, though I know it's just a matter of imitation and not an actual issue.

As you can imagine, going out in public is hard.  There are good days, and there are bad days.  During the bad days (which I've been able to quickly spot), we generally don't go out unless we have to.  And when we do, that's when the stares happen.  The whispering (seriously, old ladies, your sense of keeping your voices down are shot when I can clearly hear everything you are "whispering").  The "advice".  It all just makes me want to cry... and punch people. 

But I realize now, after reading and rereading this quote over and over, that I'm just surrounded by assholes.  People that haven't learned proper etiquette about polite small talk and when to keep their traps shut.  People that were never taught to not stare at other people.  People who have obviously never heard the saying, "Judge not, lest you be judged" (or however that goes... my memory sucks).